


and they said "speak now"

by the_strangest_person



Category: Anne of Green Gables - L. M. Montgomery, Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Hand Kisses, Love Confessions, Marriage Proposal, Misunderstandings, Renew Anne with an E, Shirbert, Weddings, alternative ending, anne is heartbroken, but he sorts himself out in the end, but still in love with him, gilbert being an idiot, heavy amount of emotion, john blythe wants to slap his son from heaven, no hate on my girl winnie, this was once a dream I had before I turned it into a fanfic, we all need cheering up, winnie is nicer and respectful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:14:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23720644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_strangest_person/pseuds/the_strangest_person
Summary: the last thing anne wants to do is interrupt the beautiful wedding in front of her, even if she is in love with the groom, but it seems as if she is not the only one wanting to protest at the ceremonyORgilbert finally sorts his feelings out and realizes that he is making a HUGE mistake
Relationships: Gilbert Blythe/Anne Shirley
Comments: 33
Kudos: 178





	and they said "speak now"

**Author's Note:**

> this is inspired by Taylor Swift's "speak now", I know that a recent fanfic was also based on it, written by the lovely @ccorneliast - who I did message just to make sure that they weren't too similar and just so that she had a heads up (so pls don't come for me, I promise she wanted me to post this and check out hers too it's awesome)
> 
> I also had a dream that part of this happened, I switched it around a bit so that it made more sense for the characters and their dynamic, but I promise the ending is quite sweet and makes up for the heavy angst and emotion that it starts off with ! 
> 
> hope you all enjoy!!

It felt like looking at a stranger.

Gilbert studied himself in the mirror, tugging at the stiffness of his newly-steamed white shirt. For years he had been wearing the old suit hanging in the back of his cupboard ; it had always been too big for him, loose at the cuffs and the seams had begun to tear in one pocket - but it had belonged to his father. He had worn it on every occasion, hoping that someday he would grow into the material and become a man that his father could be proud of, even if he wasn't there to _see_ it. The day he proposed, Mr Rose had taken him to the fanciest store in Carmody, clapping him on the back while Gilbert stood there looking like a fish out of water. They had paid for his suit to be fitted, measuring every inch of him until the thick fabric was snug against his skin. It was sticking to his flesh but Mr Rose had spared no expense and even threw in a pair of shiny shoes - so Gilbert smiled at his reflection. But in the back room of the church, there was nobody around to scold him as he tried to loosen his tie enough to breathe, his shoulders tense and hunched as he fought with the bothersome collar. He was not sure what fabric they had used to make the suit, or if the measurements were entirely different from the one he had been used to, but whatever they put back on him - it felt _strange_. He stared at himself in the mirror with furrowing eyebrows, wondering why lately, it always felt like he was wearing _a mask._

When Mr Rose came to check on him, he tucked a small purple blossom beside his pocket handkerchief - from Winnie. He twirled the flower between his fingers, hoping to find some comfort in her modest gift, something that could have been interpreted as _'see you soon!'_. But his stomach felt queasy and he took in steady deep breaths, forcing his eyes open because every time that he closed them - _she_ was there : twirling, spinning, dancing, jumping, laughing, smiling, _just being_. When he let his eyes flutter closed, he could hear a distant voice in the back of his mind and for a moment, it almost sounded like his father. Gilbert wondered what he would be thinking, if he would look in the mirror and see a soon-to-be renowned Doctor, husband and son-in-law ; or if he would just see a terrified boy taking the easy way out. As he stroked the purple petals, there was a sharp pain somewhere deep within his chest, a nudge that begged him to wise up and Gilbert got the sense that he was letting his father down somehow.

 _I'm sorry, Dad,_ he whispered, _forgive me._

...

The Church was filled with wooden pews, high carved ceilings and beautiful stain glass windows in each and every colour. As the sunlight streamed through, it started to catch little rainbows and she watched them dance across the plain walls. They had chosen very few flowers, just an array of simple blossoms and before she could get disappointed, Anne looked through one of the windows and noticed the back garden that they would all soon pour out of after the ceremony. It was a symphony of flowers, every color that she could imagine and it had a sweet little stone path leading back to the busy streets of Charlottetown. Despite the ache in her heart, she couldn't help being in awe.

It reminded her of an illustration from a fairytale book, but it took her a few moments to remember that it was not _her_ fairytale.

But Anne had never been particularly fond of the idea of marrying in a simple church and just before her worst nightmares came true, she allowed herself to get lost in her dreams one last time. If it was their wedding - only _if_ (she supposed the lord would be able to forgive her for keeping her private thoughts as mere possibilities), she would throw open those wooden doors and grab Gilbert's hand, sending them both flying out into the garden. She would stop to speak with the flowers, thanking them for brightening her day, but then she would be giggling again, pulling them away from the crowd, away from a world that wasn't just for the two of them. They could end up in a big open field, the sunlight relentless, not trapped in fragments of colored glass and the birds would create a melody just for them. Gilbert would take her hands in his and they would proceed to tell each other their deepest secrets and biggest dreams. For Anne couldn't imagine anything more intimate than opening the contents of one's heart. They would dance with the company of only the blue sky and the oddly shaped clouds, their laughter carrying them up higher and higher until Anne could barely see the ground below them.

But Marilla nudged her arm and she was plummeting through the air, back in her own shoes and in her own nightmares.

A familiar voice tore through the many unknown faces and Bash came barreling over, wiping his face tiredly. "Matthew, Miss Marilla! I'm so glad you could make it."

"Hello, Bash!" she replied and Matthew nodded in acknowledgement, "I trust that everything is going well so far. I must say that the preparations look wonderful, I'm sure Winifred's family spared no effort!"

 _"...or expense"_ his smile was lopsided, eyebrows shooting up as he noticed the redhead with her head hanging low, "...everything seems to be going to plan so far. I-I'm glad to see you too, Anne. I wasn't sure if you would be joining the ceremony."

"Why wouldn't I?" she asked defensively, fists clenching at her sides so that the smile would stay on her face.

There was a grim silence.

"May I speak with you privately for a moment?" he hesitated, leading her to a secluded corner away from the other guests. Anne crossed her arms over her chest, looking down at the deep blue velvet material brushing the floor. She had been simply thrilled to wear her first grown up dress, a beautiful gown that Marilla spent weeks making for her, buying her first corset and heeled boots. But as she looked around the bright and airy church, this was not the _exciting occasion_ that she had been hoping to wear such a dress to. When she looked in the mirror that morning, everything had felt _wrong_ \- her dress, her hair, her shoes, the weather, _her heart_. She had dreamed of being Princess Cordelia for a long time, creating a fantasy in her head, indulging in a perfect story that let her escape from her gruesome reality. But this time she had let herself get carried away. Her mind had created this idea that after all this time, he was just too scared to admit that he felt the same. Over time, she had let herself forget that it was just something that she made up.

Bash sighed, rubbing his hands together in front of him as he looked at her, "He seems tense, you know."

Anne held her chin high, "I suppose everyone gets nervous on such a _momentous occasion."_

"I suppose..." he tried to nod, but he found his head shaking from side to side in disagreement, a challenging tone in his voice, "...but I've also heard that nerves can be a sign that something is wrong. When I woke up this morning, I couldn't shake this awful feeling. I've checked over the decorations, the flowers, the preparations and double checked everything with Mr and Mrs Rose. But it still feels like something is off and I can't help thinking-"

Her eyes turned desperate, teeth gritted together, "Bash, I appreciate your concern, I really do. But if this is what he has chosen to be happy, then I am going to support him...I-I have to."

"But I don't think he has thought this through en-"

Her tone turned bitter, "He had plenty of time to think things through and to change his mind! He had every opportunity to reply to my letter and w-while I can't say that I resent him for choosing the better choice, hand-delivering a wedding invitation without so much of a word wasn't exactly the respectful rejection I hoped for-"

His face turned grave, "Anne, I don't know what you're talking about. I haven't heard anything about any letter and I am sure-"

The words were cut off by a deafening organ, a sound that made them all wince. Her heart fell into the pit of her stomach and she wondered if someone had tied rocks to her ankles, it would explain the sinking feeling that turned her inside out. Bash's eyes were wide and he looked up to the ceiling, perhaps mumbling one last prayer for someone to strike some sense into the eighteen-year old at the end of the aisle. Anne practically scurried back to Marilla and Matthew, taking her place in the third-row as the doors opened, letting in _his happy ending._

Winifred was floating down the aisle like his very own _white way of delight,_ adorning an intricately beaded gown with puff sleeves.

Gilbert waited for that powerful feeling, for something to hit him right in the chest and send him down on his knees. He waited for everything to fall into place as Winifred sent him a charming smile, but with every step it felt as if he was running out of time. He was waiting for his heart to beat faster, but it would be impossible, for the keeper of his heart was sitting in the third row with her head hanging down, and without her looking at him - he had no key. If she could just open her eyes, look up and meet his gaze, if he could just look into those endless oceans one last time then maybe he would know for _certain_ , maybe he would listen to the voice in his head that begged him to grab her hand and run.

Marilla Cuthbert felt like an intruder, watching a false display of nothing but convenience. She had spent her years looking out for her lost love's only remaining son, welcoming him into her family, caring for his own in return and she held him so close to her heart - like the son she never had. But the nervous boy standing at the altar, did little to remind her of the noble, kind, smart, caring young man that she had come to know. The boy at the altar may have been many good things, but he was not _honest_. It was a cold morning when he arrived at their doorstep, hand-delivering the news that sent Anne running upstairs after mumbling her own blessings. Marilla had taken the invitation hesitantly, narrowing her eyes at him, _congratulations_ she had said, but they both know she didn't mean a word. Gilbert tilted his hat at her before he left, almost looking apologetic, perhaps knowing that he was letting her down alongside his father. It made her wonder how long it would take him to realize that by choosing with anything other than his heart, he was only letting himself down too.

 _I'll be okay,_ Anne had told her after the tears had subsided, Marilla holding her close and rocking her gently. Her voice had been so firm and honest. She would carry on with her life, follow her passions and find her own happiness even if she did not find it in another. She would stand tall through the stormy weather like a stubborn weed, refusing to be torn apart by the cruel world. But when picturing her daughter's future, Marilla had always been able to see a loyal doctor by her side, supporting her and challenging her, making sure that she never changed, he would be one of the many people that loved her for exactly who she was, after all - she suspected he had from the very first moment they met. With Gilbert, she would blossom and shine in the sunlight like an unshakable flower. There was not a doubt in her mind that she would be okay without him, that she would live through the heartache. But she placed a hand on her aching heart before she left the bedroom, knowing that if things had just turned out differently, _she could have been so much more._

But as Gilbert tore his gaze from his fiance, over to the girl with hunched shoulders, looking smaller than ever before, looking at her as if he was waiting for some kind of _sign_ \- Marilla knew that she might be able to forgive him one day.

She nudged her daughter, holding her breath as the preacher asked the question that was feared by everyone.

**"If anyone can show just cause why this couple cannot lawfully be joined together in matrimony, let them speak now or forever hold their peace"**

"Anne..." Marilla warned in a hushed tone.

She shook her head in determination, fingers digging into the wooden pew beneath her.

 _"Anne",_ her voice grew panicked, "Anne, I really think you need to-"

When she finally lifted her gaze, everything else fell away - because he was looking at her. He was looking at _her_. And more than that, he was looking at her with that face and those eyes, eyes filled with such turmoil. It was his wedding day and instead of smiling nervously, wondering how he became so lucky to have the blonde beauty in front of him - he was looking at her and Anne didn't know what to do.

He could feel another tug inside of his chest, but this time instead of hesitantly nudging him and imploring with him to reconsider, the sharp pains were continuous, slashing at his chest like vines in outward protest. The feeling was rising up within him, an unknown voice crawling up his throat to object, invisible hands pulling at his legs that were planted firmly on the ground. The worst part of it all - was that the unpleasant feeling wasn't entirely unfamiliar. When his brother had come to check on him that morning, he had called him _tense_ , just like the first time he had met Winifred's parents at Bright River. _Was he tense?_ _Did he feel tense?_ Whatever was inside of him, clawing at his heart - it certainly didn't seem to agree with him. Gilbert turned to see his future in-laws smiling at him, eyebrows raised, perhaps eager to see them officially join together and become a family - but why did he suddenly feel so much pressure? He swallowed heavily, his beautiful fiance absentmindedly glancing at the pretty decor in the church that she had chosen, perhaps trying to commit such a special moment to her memory - but why did he suddenly feel so invisible? He wondered if he would always feel like a stranger with them, looking in from the outside on their lives, smiling politely and nodding at the right times. The tugging below his ribs became more insistent, a force shaking his shoulders as if asking him - is this _it? Is this really all you want to expect from yourself?_

As he took a step backwards, away from Winifred, away from the wedding, away from the Sorbonne, away from his future - the beams of sunlight felt like his father patting him on the back.

Gilbert could hear the collected gasps and confused murmurs as he strode down the aisle, heading for the back garden. Unlike the feeling that consumed him as he entered the church that morning, every step had him feeling lighter, as if for once - he was headed for true north. He didn't dare look at the mess that he had left behind him, his biggest mistake somehow the first thing that had felt _right_ in a long time.

"Gilbert!"

_"Gilbert!"_

He turned around with a shaky breath to see the last person that he had expected to follow him, nature's finest beauty with clenched fists and tears in her eyes - but a beauty nonetheless. Instead of filling his head with more cloudy thoughts, her destructive presence helped to find peace within himself that had long been forgotten. In a secluded garden with an array of colorful blooms, his eyes would only stay on her ; red hair brighter than ever and blue eyes clearer than the sky on a summer's day, but it was her soul that encased its very own rainbow. Her effervescent light swallowed him whole and he clamped his mouth shut so that he couldn't stutter out nonsense about how hard it was to stop himself from grabbing her hand on his way out, pulling them both away to a sense of tomorrow, a fresh day with no mistakes in it.

"W-Why did you do that?" her shoulders were heaving up and down, lace fabric at the edge of her sleeves fluttering in the wind.

Gilbert didn't have any other answer, _"...I couldn't breathe."_

Her frown turned into a scowl, bewilderment passing over her face as she threw her hands up in the air, "This is hardly the time for a bit of fresh air, Gilbert-"

"No, you don't understand..." he sighed deeply, closing his eyes, "...it's not just today. Whenever I'm around them, whenever I'm around her... _I can't breathe_. It feels like someone is stomping down on my lungs, like I can't do anything right and I just - I don't want to live a life like that. I _can't_ live my life like that."

Anne pointed back at the church, voice raising, _"...and what about Winifred?"_

"Well, I-I..." he stumbled over his words, looking back up at her with desperate eyes, "...of course I didn't want to hurt her, that was never my intention but I-I can't pretend anymore. Doesn't my happiness matter too? When I'm with her...I feel like a different person, someone that I don't recognize and everything just feels so... _set up_. I know I've made a mess of things but walking away from that, it feels like the only thing I've done right in a long time. I can't stand at that altar and smile, pretending that this is what I want-"

"Then what _do_ you want?"

The worst part was, that she didn't even need to hear him say it, not when it was right there in his eyes. She wished for a bolt of lightning to strike her down on the spot, for the world to crumble to ashes, for he had laid his cards down on the table a long time ago and she was still too much of a coward to be honest with herself. But how could he stand there and look at her in such a way? How could he spend the moment before his vows piercing her soul with his gaze, trying to take something that she wasn't ready to give? And there she was, taken back to that frightfully dark night with her heart feeling so heavy, too much of a coward to ask him to throw everything away for her. But that's exactly what he was doing - _throwing everything away_ and she took a step away from him.

_How dare he!_

"No, no, no, no..." she mumbled as she backed away from him and it stung more than he would ever admit.

Gilbert's voice was just above a whisper, _"...yes."_

 _"NO!"_ it came out as more of a screech, her small hands shoving at his chest with vigor, wishing that she had claws to cause more damage, _"...how dare you!_ How can you say that? How could you do that to someone as lovely as Winifred and on your _wedding day!_ You've ruined everything and thrown it all away, how do you live with yourself after making such-"

"Would you rather me do it on the honeymoon?" he challenged, raising his eyebrows at her.

She glared at him, "You're being-"

"Or how about when we settle into Paris, would it be better if I told the truth then?"

Anne clenched her eyes shut, "You're not listening to-"

He continued on in a low voice, a dangerous voice, "...or how about a year down the line? Would that be a more appropriate time to follow my heart and leave her?...because I _would_ , Anne. It was always going to happen _one day_ and I could only pretend for so long. Tell me, what day would _you_ pick to break someone's heart?"

 _"I'd say you were the expert on that..."_ she spoke through gritted teeth.

The skin on the back of his neck felt hot, _"W-What?"_

"After all, maybe I should be proud that you made your feelings _clear_ to someone this time! Instead of finding it easier to be _exceedingly vague_ , or to pass your problems onto someone that had been _drinking_..." she was all but snapping at him like a wild dog now, pressing a finger into his chest and making him stumble back, "...I have to say it's a step up from outright ignoring something of upmost importance, Winifred should be glad that you're being straight with her! Did none of this occur to you when you cruelly ignored my letter, or was that just another example of you worrying about your _own_ happiness?"

The bumblebees were flying around them, landing delicately on the exotic blooms, paying no mind to the shouting match going on, "What are you even talking about? You didn't send me any letter!"

"You certainly didn't seem to have any trouble _pretending_ when you hand-delivered your fancy wedding invitation, pretending that you were ignorant to my feelings, or misinterpreting my words-"

"There was no letter!-"

"Or did you assume that I wanted you to propose to Winifred when I wrote that _I love you_ -"

Every jab and snap at each other hurt, it hurt more than they were likely to admit but as soon as the words fell out of her lips without thought - he stopped. It was one thing to imagine her saying such a thing in his mind, and it was another to hear the words coming out of her mouth - rolled with such tenderness despite her anger. Most of all, she used the _present tense._ She used present tense and that meant that somehow underneath all of the misunderstandings, despite his mistakes and the hurt in her eyes - she loved him. Gilbert wasn't prepared for such a sense of calm to overtake him, the sound of their stuttered breaths flying high above the clouds, his eyes softening instinctively. He started to take small steps forward, bending his head down slightly so that they were almost eye level and something filled him with warmth when she didn't pull away. But they didn't have any time for misunderstandings and he needed her to _know_.

He spoke carefully, firmly, "Do you honestly think that I would be here if I knew... _that?_ Do you think I would have _proposed_ to someone else and waited until my wedding day to break things off, if I had even the _slightest idea_ that you felt the same way? Do you think I would have brought Winifred to the fair if I knew that you would be upset, that I would have even invited her out to tea in the first place if you didn't insist on the train just how much _you don't need me?",_ she was silent now, holding her breath and looking at him with such fear, as if she knew that he would have always been willing to throw it all away for her in a second, to never glance in another direction if he was certain that they were dreaming of the same future, "...b-but, let me ask you this, Anne... _what if I'm the one that needs you?"_

When she closed the remaining distance between them, his breath caught in his throat as if he was expecting something tender. But he recoiled back in frustration when she merely continued to whack at his chest.

 _"How could you!_ How could you...after all this time, h-how could you put me in such a position? W-What am I supposed to-"

"Anne, please-"

"You're a coward, a complete _fool!"_

"I never meant-"

It was then that she turned away from him, scoffing under her breath only to freeze when she saw that they were not alone. His perfect bride was standing there and they had no idea how long she had been watching, leaning against the door as if it would give her some strength. Winifred walked towards them slowly, glancing back at the closed doors of the church to make sure that they would be alone for the following conversation, letting all of the wedding guests wonder. Gilbert stopped still when he noticed her, his complexion paling. Anne nearly burst into tears, resisting the urge to fall down on her knees and beg forgiveness from the lovely woman in white who had her dreams shattered. But her mouth hung open when Winfred sent them a wry smile, tilting her head as if she had seen something like this coming from a mile away.

"I ask that you try not to blame everything on Gilbert."

Anne frowned, not following. "I-I don't under-"

Winifred smoothed down the delicate skirt of her dress, but in that moment she reminded Anne of a fierce warrior queen. Her posture was sturdy and while Anne's face was painted with tears and regret, she nodded politely at the pair and straightened the smile on her face. Anne wondered if she was used to a lifetime of _pretending_ , of knowing when to speak at the right time, to be elegant and respectful and proper. She couldn't help the fresh tear that trailed down her cheek, inwardly apologizing to the woman before her - a woman that held herself stronger than she ever could.

"I would not be an honest woman if I blamed everything on him, not when I am at fault in my own ways. Sometimes when he looked at me, I wondered if his affections lay elsewhere...if he somehow did not see me up to his standards - something that I don't think is entirely his fault either. For I'm not sure I would ever be able to love him in the way that I _should."_

Gilbert stepped forward, his eyes on the ground, "Winnie, please _don't._ You're wrong, this is all _my_ fault, I-I ruined today and I didn't even stop to think about how you would feel in the middle of it all. You were once a great friend to me, and n-no matter how I feel, I should never have put you in that position, or made you believe that-"

"You needn't apologize" she held her head high.

His eyes were filled with sorrow, _"But I'm still sorry."_

" _I'm_ sorry..." Winifred admitted, sending him an earnest smile, blue eyes filled with regret, "...I saw the look on your face when you proposed, you looked so...and I never stopped to question it. I was focused on my family and all of those people expecting our engagement and I...I never asked if it was what you truly wanted...what _either of us_ truly wanted."

Gilbert's shoulders lost some tension, "...I never knew how to say anything and I was worried about hurting you like I've done now-"

"Not _hurt",_ she tasted the words on her tongue, "...slightly disappointed and maybe embarrassed too, but like I said...we were both at fault."

He nodded, "If I could change-"

 _"You're a good man, Gilbert Blythe",_ Winifred smiled, walking closer and placing a single gloved hand on his lower arm, "...you've always been a good man, it was why I didn't feel so disappointed in being stuck with someone like you. But you deserve to be with the person that you truly love...who loves you in return."

Her gaze fell on the redhead that was watching, a girl slightly younger yet in ways, more mature than she would ever be. A girl that wouldn't accept affection that was freely given to her, a girl that thought of others far before she thought of herself. A girl that was on her way to becoming a _woman,_ but in her own way, not forced through the confines of society, learning which fork to use or what smile to wear. She sent Anne a kind smile at her wary look, taking one of her hands in her own, applying gentle pressure, "...I feel as if I have played a role in breaking your heart, Anne. _I'm sorry for that."_

Anne felt another tear slip down her cheek, all of her words suddenly adding up to nothing.

"Winnie, I can go back in and talk to-"

 _"No"_ her words were firm, but her eyes were still tender, "...you don't need to do that. I don't want any more damage done and as I told you, I've been expecting this in a way. I can deal with my family and the preparations, truly. I-I just...need a bit of time."

Gilbert nodded, a lump in his throat, "...o-of course."

She took a hold of her long white skirt once more, bunching the material in her fists as she made her way up to the awaiting doors of the church. There would be a lot of explaining to do, but as she looked at the devastated pair before her - she knew that one day they would all be grateful. She noticed Gilbert glancing at Anne hopelessly, a miserable look in his eyes as she stared stubbornly down at the ground, not feeling deserving of the love that he was begging to give her. Winifred laughed bitterly under her breath, turning back to them before making her way inside, "...if it's any consolation, I think that at least one of us deserves a happy ending. I can't pretend that I won't be letting my family down in my own way, but I will admit that by marrying you - I might have been letting _myself_ down in return. I am never one to believe that arguments make a great deal of good, I merely hope that the two of you stop fighting and think about what you really want. I hope that something good can come out of all this, whenever it may occur."

Anne shuffled uncomfortably as she disappeared into the church.

She took a seat on one of the nearby steps, landing with a huff and crossing her arms across her chest. When she made no move to stop him, Gilbert cautiously sat down beside her, hoping that it would suffice as a sign of surrender. They caught each other's eyes, smiling bitterly but perhaps there was a little bit of hope mixed in - and Gilbert knew that Winifred was right, maybe underneath the mess he had made, it could blossom into something good, something _right_. It felt like they were giving up their weapons, both too exhausted to fight, sending each other sheepish smiles as they subconsciously agreed on a _ceasefire._

Anne was the first to lay down her armor, speaking up in a small voice, "...I think I may not have been able to look at you again, I-if you went through with marrying her."

"Will you look at me _now?"_

He was waving a flag of peace, hesitantly reaching for her lap where her hands lay solemnly. It took a minute for him to work up the courage, but he eventually took her hands gently within his own, lifting them up slightly so that she had to look at him. When her clear blue eyes met his own willingly, he couldn't help but send her a dopey grin.

 _"I-I hope you're not proposing"_ she blurted out.

Gilbert let out a hearty laugh at her terrified expression, but after a moment he lifted her pale hands up to his lips, leaving a soft kiss there - a promise. It took him a moment to say the words, but his voice did not falter, _"...I would like to someday."_

Her smile brightened but there was still caution within her eyes, enough for him to give her hands another squeeze as he began to make a different promise, "...I know that I've been a fool. I know that you have every reason to hate me, to be ashamed, embarrassed...t-to never want anything to do with me again-"

"Are you trying to _talk me out_ of hating you?" she teased.

He smiled but his expression dimmed, "I'm being serious, Anne. I-I have no idea how you're even letting me sit next to you now, how you're letting me close to you but selfishly - _I don't want to move_. I don't want to spend another minute without telling you that _I love you_ and that I _have_ loved you, f-for as long as I can remember...and that I know I _will_ love you for as long as you let me. But I-I know that you will need time. I know that I've messed things up and I just want you to know that...this isn't how I wanted this to go. I wish I could have written you my own letter, with all the romantic words I could think of...but I'm no writer. I can barely tell you how I feel without sounding like an idiot-"

 _"Gilbert..."_ she said his name so softly, it sounded like she was singing.

"I am not expecting anything, not a single thing and all I really want is to be whatever you need. If you need someone to support you, to put any rumors to rest about your involvement in this mess, to take the blame for every mistake I'll make, to be your _friend_ \- I just want to be here, in whichever way you'll let me."

Anne's voice turned shy, a blush on her cheeks that ironically made her auburn curls stand out more. "I think I would like a friend."

He tried to not let his face fall, but when he smiled, there was a sad edge to it that wouldn't disappear. "I can do that."

 _"...for now",_ she mumbled when she noticed the look on his face. "This...this has all just been very confusing and messy, I just want things to go back to how they were for a little while. So that when we're ready, we can figure this out together... _properly_ this time."

Gilbert noticed that she was still letting him hold her hands, rubbing gentle circles over her knuckles and he couldn't stop himself from grinning like a fool, eyes shining - "I might not be able to hold back from proposing one day, just so you know."

"I might not be able to hold back from saying _yes",_ she confessed in a gentle voice, and it sounded so much like a promise that he wanted to cry. If she caught onto the hope rising in his hazel eyes, her voice tried to turn stern as she smiled, _"...but no promises."_

Gilbert tried, but he still couldn't stop smiling.

How could he?

There was no way that he could possibly stop his cheeks from aching, or his eyes to stop shining with laughter, not when she was sitting next to him, letting him hold her hands. _Her_ hands. The hands that he had stared at from across the classroom, seeing her fingers messily spill words across a page that still managed to turn out beautiful, hands that painted on the wooden boards for their protest, the protest that _her heart_ decided on. Sitting there beside her, he realized that Anne Shirley-Cuthbert always decided with her heart, even when it failed her. It would only be fair (and square) if he allowed himself to do the same. The sunlight was warm against his back, seeping through the dark fabric of his suit and it was inching its way closer to his heart. As he tilted his head back and felt Anne's fingers squeezing his, he could almost hear his father's voice inside his head saying - _well done, son._

When they later returned to their families with hopeful eyes and light shoulders, the news of their supposed " _friendship"_ sparked very much expected reactions.

 _"...at least for now",_ Marilla had nudged Matthew secretly.

Bash rolled his eyes, his own heart feeling lighter than air as he whispered his own guess to the Cuthbert family.

**"I'm willing to bet any money that Blythe proposes the day that she graduates from college."**

**Author's Note:**

> this was a bit of a nightmare to write, I had it planned for a long time but it just wasn't working, but I'm so glad I get to finally share it with you all! no hate to my girl Winnie, although she didn't have too much development in the show other than as a love interest, her and her family were open-minded, sweet, funny and just seemed like fun people so I don't want any hate comments about her! hope you're all still staying safe and as happy as you can be, I'm always here if you need some support or a friend!
> 
> please leave a comment and let me know your thoughts, I will leave my social media below if you want to talk to me on there, I post sneak peeks and take requests so come and be my friend :)
> 
> \- jodie 
> 
> twitter : @anotherdorklol  
> instagram : @anotherdorklol  
> tumblr : @the-strangest-person


End file.
